It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
