She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I cockslap morals
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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