K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
