You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
