K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
