Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
