True but thats because hes a fetus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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