I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
