Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
