try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize