At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I want is dick and wine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
