don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
