She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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