He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
