This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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