You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
His nipple licking is glorious
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