Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize