Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
