Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You have to summon your inner elephant
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
