the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize