Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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