New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
