I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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