Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
True strength comes from lack of pants
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
