we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
