hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
