it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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