I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
