his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
NoShamevember. You game?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
