Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I met the friendliest cop last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize