I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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