Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize