that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
