in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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