Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Enjoy the penises
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
