Dual....:-)
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
