Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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