You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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