Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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