I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
