Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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