where am i from again
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
