Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
