You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
