Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
