I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
