Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
