You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
