help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
