I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
