spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
