You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
