Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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