i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
