btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
