Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
