I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
