I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
