in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
